


Chained

by Silverne, Vouxels (xav)



Series: Apheleon Chronicles [4]
Category: Dragon Nest (Video Game), Original Work
Genre: Angst, Cheating???, Everything Went Downhills™, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Rape/Non-con Elements, Suicide Attempt, here comes the pain train
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-03
Updated: 2019-03-04
Packaged: 2019-11-08 16:46:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 20
Words: 9,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17984888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silverne/pseuds/Silverne, https://archiveofourown.org/users/xav/pseuds/Vouxels
Summary: A compilation of microfics from@vouxelon twitter and fics fromtumblr: part 2





	1. Heartbeat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original post from [tumblr](http://xsilvie.tumblr.com/post/116443229395/dn-heartbeat-light-stacking)

Estaire always gave him advanced notice whenever he was bringing the Prince to him. He said that the Prince’s condition hardly changed. He hardly slept, ate, or talked. Estaire sounded desperate… 

 'I’ll do my best.‘ 

He didn’t know if he could change anything, since Hieratia didn’t even talk to him… Hikaru perked up when he heard arriving footsteps, and soon the Prince was sitting beside him.

'My Prince.' 

He reached out for the Prince’s cheek, caressing his soft skin. 

'You’re getting thinner, you know? I can feel it. It’s not healthy at all.' 

He could feel the Prince’s cheekbones becoming more prominent than how he remembered them. 

'Won’t you talk to me?’ 

’…You…' 

That was the first time he’d heard the Prince’s voice in a while, and he certainly didn’t remember it trembling so much… 

'Estaire, leave us.' 

The Saint did not protest; Estaire’s footsteps had long died before Hieratia spoke again. 

'Just how… do you expect me to sleep at night when I see you like this…?' 

He felt hands cup his face, fingers gently stroking the bandages on the upper half of his face, covering where his eyes would have been. 

'I can still hear it… Your screaming, that day.’ 

Hikaru was silent as the Prince’s sobs echoed in the dungeon. 

'My Prince,’ he began slowly. 'I know a great deal of things have changed.’ 

'But do you know what hasn’t?' 

'What…?' 

Hikaru pulled the Prince closer. 

'Can you feel it?' 

‘What…?’ 

'My heartbeat.’ 

Silence.

'I’m still alive. And while that’s true, things will still change for me. For you. For us.' 

He held the Prince tighter. 

'That’s why you should take care of yourself until that day comes. Please promise me, Hieratia.’  

The Prince was silent. 

'Hieratia?’ 

He heard the Prince force out a small laugh. 

'I’ll be waiting… for my human pillow, then.' 

'It’ll take a while, please bear with it.' 


	2. Defiance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> characters: Hie & Zeke

"Where do you think you're going?" 

"None of your concern." 

"Sneaking out to the dungeon again, I assume?" 

The Prince stared at his new butler. Was it anger in his eyes? Or desperation?

All he wanted is to meet his lover, to spend the night together.   



	3. At Nightfall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on [tumblr](http://xsilvie.tumblr.com/post/117486259835/dn-at-nightfall)

Lately, he felt like he needed his Sun more and more, especially in the freezing nights. A sense of dread inexplicably came over him whenever night fell, and he found himself sneaking off more frequently to the dungeons that held Hikaru. 

His warmth was comforting.

“Let me sleep with you tonight." 

"Again?” Hikaru stroked the Prince’s cheek as he pulled him closer. “Is there something wrong?”

“I… I’ve been feeling really uneasy lately. Around Zeke." 

Hikaru tilted his head questioningly, urging Hieratia to continue. 

"That man looks familiar somehow, but I can’t put a finger to it…" 

Hikaru had never met Zeke, and judging by Hie and Estaire’s stories he had never met this man… he felt helpless about this matter. 

"If it would ease your mind, then stay here for the night." 

Hieratia pressed his lips against Hikaru’s cheek. "Thank you.” Hieratia took Hikaru’s hand in his, and closed his eyes. This was the real Hikaru.

This warmth would never betray him.

He became more and more convinced that what he has been remembering hazily after waking up lately were just dreams…


	4. Overcast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> characters: Hie & Hikaru

"How is the sky today, my prince?"  
"Hmm, a shade of grey that reminds me so much of your hair in a lighted room."


	5. Deprived

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some consensual m/m sexy times ahead

Hikaru rejected the first time due to the filth. He did not expect the Prince to act so swiftly on it, and when he was asked a second time, he didn't have any reason to refuse. 

He was eager for release, too.

Hie was the type to just go with the flow, but with Hikaru's lack of sight he took it upon himself to lead. 

He sat down on something soft; Hie had somehow procured them some pillows. Soon after there was a familiar weight on his lap, and felt legs on either side of him.

"Did you--!?" 

The rest of the words got caught in his throat as he felt a tightness at the tip of his length, then a steady pressure slowly enveloping it. He couldn't feel Hie's breath, but he could hear the small gasp he made as he continued slowly lowering himself on him.

The familiar weight was back on his lap and Hie released the breath that he was holding. 

"Are you alright? Does it hurt?" 

"N-No," Hie's voice trembled, but it did not seem like he was in pain, "I prepared for this."

He felt Hie's weight shift again, and this time it was to meet his lips in a torrid kiss. 

Judging by the warm length that he felt rubbing against his stomach, Hie was really holding back…

Hie began to move, and Hikaru's hands felt their way to Hie's hips, supporting him. The air was soon filled with wet, slapping noises punctuated with Hie's moaning, and Hikaru couldn't help the urge to meet his hips with his own. 

The change in angle drew a sharp cry from Hie. 

"Don't stop," Hie's voice was breathless and needy, his ragged moaning turning up a pitch or two. Hie's fingers pried off one of Hikaru's hands off his hip, guiding it to his nipples.

He was an obedient Butler. First it was just his thumb on the nipple, and then his tongue.

The empty stone hallways made it so easy for even the tiniest moans and gasps sound louder than they really were. Thank the Goddess that they were truly alone then, that they could indulge in this little bit of heaven.

But it seemed like it was becoming too much for Hie, as he grabbed a fistful of Hikaru's long hair, pulling his head up from his chest, and messily meeting his lips.

Briefly feeling around the surface he was sitting on, Hikaru took the opportunity to flip their positions, pinning Hie down on the bed of pillows.

He didn't need eyes for this; muscle memory guided him to hook Hie's leg over his shoulder, and thrust in deeper than before.

Hie whined, arching his back towards him. His forehead settled on Hie's chest where he could feel the vibration of his voice and his wild heartbeats.

Hie's hands, on the other hand, busied themselves with Hikaru's hair and back, tugging and digging his nails respectively and his breath hitched. 

"H-Hikaru, I'm..."

Hikaru licked a trail of saliva from Hie's chest to the crook of his neck, and whispered in his ear. "Come."

The way Hie clamped down on him only made him want to go faster, harder--Hie's nails dug harder into his back as he came with a shrill shout, coating both their abdomen with warm, slick liquid. 

He imagined Hie's face in his mind: mouth half open, drool dripping out the corner of his lips, eyes rolling to the back of his head in pleasure, cheeks flushed pink, as he caught his breath--

He released, coating his insides with warmth, and be felt Hie squirm underneath him, as though squeezing him out thoroughly. 

He caught his breath as he supported himself on both his arms, hovering just a bit above Hie, when he felt gently trembling hands tilt his face, and his lips felt a warm wetness against it once more.

"I love you, Hikaru," his voice was barely a whisper.

"I love you too, Hie." 


	6. Uncertainties

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> characters: Hie & Hikaru

"Why don't you give him a chance?" 

He just let out a sigh as a reply. 

"Hie, I don't know how long they're going to keep me here..." 

He could feel his lover's grip on his hand tighten in the darkness.

"Befriend him" 

"I'm not sure..." he replied. 

"Hie, all I want is for you to be happy up there..." 

"But I want to be here, with you..."


	7. Fated

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> character: Zeke

He already knew the moment they first touched. It felt like something clicked in his soul, like this was where he was supposed to be. Never mind that he had a comfortable upbringing and a beautiful fiance who loved him, he needed to be with this person for the rest of his life.

And like any beautiful thing, that person was hidden away from the world. 

No matter. His talent lay in breaking things. He'd break away the enclosure that hid him, and then take him away. 

He had all the time in the world to convince him that they were meant to be.

If he had to break him, he'd do that too.


	8. Black Tea & White Snow

The atmosphere between them was tense at most, punctuated only by the shuffling paper and rearranged books.  
  
It had been a little over a month since the King had Hikaru locked up in the deepest dungeons in the castle for the rest of his life; Estaire and Isviel had advised Hieratia that the faster he bounced back to ‘normal’, the easier it was to appeal Hikaru’s sentence and free him…  
  
So that was what he was doing. He was in his study, with piles of letters and documents and instructions from his father, reading, and procrastinating, and reading once more…   
  
And being ‘normal’ also meant that he had to accept the replacement for Hikaru that his father’s advisers pushed onto him.  
  
Hieratia glanced at his new servant - Razekiel. He was an older, more experienced servant than Hikaru was, and it was obvious in his deliberate, graceful movements, the way that he entered and didn’t enter conversation when it was needed, and keeping to the background as much as possible. It felt like betrayal, but --   
  
Please endure this for a while. Hikaru’s voice rang in his ears, as he turned his attention back to his work…  
  
At the corner of one eye he noticed that Razekiel had become still, standing in front of the many bookshelves in Hieratia’s study, and then resumed the rhythm of his work. For a moment, Hieratia wondered if he had hidden anything in that bookshelf -- it was a bookshelf of older books that he had completed long ago -- but grasping at nothing, he turned back to his work.  
  
The hours passed so quickly, and soon it was time for afternoon tea. Razekiel brought him some pastries and a pot of his usual black tea.  
  
“Thank you.”   
  
Razekiel stood to the side, as Hieratia took a bite out of one of the eclairs, while reading documents with his free hand.   
  
“Your Highness, if I may speak.”   
  
“Yes you may,” the response was perhaps a bit too sharp and curt, but Razekiel seemed to brush it off.   
  
“I was wondering… if perhaps Your Highness will allow me to borrow a book from your library?”  
  
Hieratia tilted his head slightly to look at him, chewing in silence as he put down the papers back on his table. “Which book?”  
  
“The Secret of the Snow, Your Highness. I have read the one before it… but I have not been able to find the rest.”   
  
Upon hearing the name, he was mentally teleported to his room; it was a book in his private collection that served as his only fantastical escape as a child… Razekiel must have seen it while attending to him in the last few days.   
  
It was also one of the first few things he had recommended Hikaru to read…   
  
It is… how do I put it into words? He remembered Hikaru saying. It puts your heart in a tight squeeze, a bit unlike the other books…   
  
“Hmm, the series is quite enjoyable and poignant, isn’t it?” The corners of his lips pulled up in a small smile. “Please take care of the book while it is with you.”   
  
Razekiel’s face brightened up in a way that he had not seen before. “Oh thank you, thank you, Your Majesty!” He was beaming, and for a moment, Hieratia thought that he had become a completely different person. “I’ve been looking all over for it, and wouldn’t have expected to find a copy here, of all places…”   
  
“Is it no longer in print?” Hieratia mused out loud, as he set down his fork and tried to remember how long it has been…   
  
“Yes, for a long time now.”   
  
Hieratia’s face fell a bit. “That’s unfortunate…”   
  
“Ah --”  Razekiel’s face froze for a second, and he took a step back. “Please forgive my overfamiliarity, Your Majesty,” he began, his tone switching back to what he usually sounded like. “I did not mean to --”  
  
  
“It is all right.” He cut him off, waving a hand. “You are also free to borrow the rest, as long as you take care of the books, they are very precious to me.”  
  
“You are very kind,” Razekiel bowed. “I will take great care of it.” 

* * *

  
  
The next day was the same as the one before it -- more work, more papers to be read, and signed or rejected or amended as was fit. Hieratia noticed Razekiel stifle a yawn several times over the day, but nevertheless he did what was expected of him without fail. The atmosphere between them was less tense than it usually was…   
  
That was a good thing… right? The man was just doing his job, outside of the circumstances that they were in…   
  
Tea was served at the usual time. Hieratia looked at him as he served rolls and tea, and noticed the dark shadows under his eyes easily.  
  
“Did you sleep at all?”  
  
Razekiel smiled apologetically. “Please do not worry, I can still do my duties, Your Highness.”   
  
“But did you sleep?”   
  
The apologetic smile widened. “... No, I did not. I must admit the book took me in and the next thing I know it was almost sunrise…”   
  
Hieratia chuckled. “Won’t you sit with me and talk about the book?”


	9. Another Kind of Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> characters: Zeke & Hie

"Whatever it is that is lacking, I will provide to the best of my ability." 

"Then, can you do something about this emptiness inside me?" 

Perhaps those words were taken too literally. 

Perhaps this was all wrong.

How could something that feel so good make him feel so guilty at the same time?

* * *

 

The late afternoons cast long shadows where they hid from the light of the sun. They huddled in the corner of the Prince's study as they caught their breaths, and he held the Prince in a loose embrace. 

"Hold me tighter..." The voice was almost begging, and he obliged easily.

"Like this?"

He took the silence for a yes, and just held him like that, until the room was plunged into darkness.

* * *

 

It felt like drowning, the way that his lungs screamed for air and his limbs felt powerless. But instead of being enveloped in cold and dark waters, he found himself tightly wrapped in someone else's arms.

It was a different kind of desperation too. He was out of breath and needed air, but he wanted -- needed -- this person to be by his side like this more than anything else in his life.

He let his already half-lidded eyes close. 

Was it in surrender? 

In bliss? 

Or both?

* * *

 

Unlike the one before him, his self control was exceptional. 

Even when the prize was dangled right in front of him, he bides his time for the most perfect opportunity. 

The most perfect opportunity to break the Prince and own him completely, that is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another combination of a few microfics that being squeezed together lel. pov switch at every break.


	10. Datura

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: rape

"Ah, I've never seen this flower before" 

"It's called Datura, your highness." 

"What a weird name for such pretty flower." 

"It's a moonflower, pretty dangerous if I might add." 

"What?!" 

"Don't worry, my Prince. It's only dangerous if you consume it."

* * *

 

For such a dangerous plant, it was flavorless. Little effort was required on his part to add it to the Prince's nightly desserts, or to his tea. 

He had to take care when certain people were around, though. 

It was so effective that he couldn't resist going night after night.

Surely if he were awake, he would be making more lewd noises that sounded like music to his ears. 

But he had to make do of what he had now, as in the waking life, their relationship hadn't progressed to that level yet.

Not that he was complaining, of course. To have such a beauty bloom beneath him, warm colors erupting on the pale canvas of his skin, was quite a sight to behold. 

He was patient where it was needed. 

He could wait a little more.

 

For such a timid Prince, his manhood was completely the opposite -- its size was even bigger than his, and that was saying something. 

Where the meek Prince shied away from any form of physical contact, it responded so enthusiastically, truly the part of him that was most honest.

He only had to make short work of it for the Prince to finish in his sleep. 

Oh, was he that deprived? 

He knew that the Prince and the Prisoner were having their fights. He made a mental note to offer more of his  _ services _ in the morning


	11. Dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> character: Hie

He dreamt that he was a cloud, 

A cloud that rains as he wept, strikes lightning as he rage. 

A cloud, living freely, unbounded by anything, ever changing every time. 

He met his day and his night, though it was always brief, they were always there for him.


	12. Cool Mint

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on [tumblr](http://xsilvie.tumblr.com/post/166719390750/dn-cool-mint)

Just the act of lighting up a cigarette brought him back to the good old days. **  
**

This brand was particularly difficult to find in this country, but it had to be this one. It was his father’s preferred brand, and the minty taste was still the same from as far as his memory goes.

It has been nearly two decades now.

He took a long drag and exhaled, the smoke curling into shapes in front of him, gently teased and molded by the cold breeze that blew in from the open window. Leaning forward on the chair he sat backwards on, he gazed at the miniscule embers burning at the tip of the cigarette.

There was it again, that feeling of doubt.

Everything that he had done, was it right?

Everything that he had thrown away – a family, a lover, a future – was it worth it?

Fate was worse than an alluring woman, or an addicting drug, numbing any sort of remorse or repulsion he would have felt, looking back at everything he had done. And Fate had dealt her cards very cruelly with him.

Another long drag. Through the wisps of smoke he tried to find the faces of everyone in the life he had left behind.

But even the sweetest memories of that life did not make him feel any nostalgia.

It felt like a distant memory that had nothing to do with him after _that cursed woman_ showed him what he was missing in his life – the cure for an inexplicable feeling of displacement that nagged at him at the back of his mind, that was caused not by his standing in society, nor by the lack of paternal love, nor by any lack thereof.

_This is where I am supposed to be._

Every time he thought about the past, he always reached the same conclusion.

“Worth it.” He muttered, as he brought the cigarette back to his lips.

It would have been a waste of good cigarettes if he just threw it away.

–

His lover pulled away from the torrid kiss they shared, a slight frown on his face.

“You taste… different.”

He only realized then that he could faintly taste the menthol from the cigarette earlier. “Mm, it must be the cigarette.”

“You smoke?” Dark blue eyes looked up at him, widening with curiosity and surprise.

“From time to time. Does it bother you?”

“Smoking isn’t good for your health,” the Prince huffed.

“But does the taste bother you?”

“N-No…”

The smile was more of a smirk than anything as he pulled him closer for another kiss.

“Then that’s good.


	13. The Price of Freedom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally postedn on [tumblr](http://xsilvie.tumblr.com/post/169700306520/dn-the-price-of-freedom)

I knew.

As time passed I eventually learned how not to rely on my sight all too much; I tried to use sounds and smells and textures that were familiar to me to paint the image in my mind.

I knew how many paces it is from the cold, heavy metal bars to the spot on the floor that I considered a ‘bed’, and how many strides were between these two so I stopped hitting my head on the bars and the walls. Surely I looked pitiful holding my hand out, feeling the space immediately in front of me.

I knew where the rusted remains of the chains on the walls were, the sharp and uneven spots on the cold, stone floor, and where water seeped through the walls and created puddles, and avoided them; my bare feet has surely covered every inch of the floor, with the scars to prove it.

I knew what the etchings on the walls said, how many lines were etched – this crude calendar was mine now, and I wonder if I would last longer than the one who carved them here.

I knew that there was someone who died in this dungeon, though surely the body was taken away long ago – there weren’t any bones left in the cell. The rancid stench never quite left the place, but I’ve grown accustomed to it. There was also the smell of mold and moss… this place is further underground than I thought it was.

I knew that I was alone. There were no other prisoners down here. There are no guards, either; I suppose it was because they did not necessarily think I needed to be watched at all hours, being blind, but because they just wanted me to be die quietly, forgotten, erased from memory as a disgrace to the monarchy.

The guard who brings me food once a day just lets the plate clatter on the stone ground, takes the plate from the day before, and leaves without a word. I couldn’t tell from the quick footsteps if they were scared of me, or just if this was simply a job that they had to do and there was no time to linger. I have given up trying to make conversation with him.

Or maybe they were scared of being alone in a place like this.

Or maybe simply they just didn’t like the smell of death.

With this much solitude even ghosts were a welcome companion. There were only so many things to do to try to keep my sanity in a place like this.

It was hard to tell if it was night or day; there are no windows, and it was just eternally chilly, and even more so in the last few days.

Was it winter already? Fall?

I didn’t know. There was no one to ask what day it was. There was only me and a maddening silence, that only screamed back at me the same questions I ask when I try to understand.

Why is this happening to me?

Is this still punishment for what I did?

Do I deserve all of this? Isn’t losing my eyes enough?

It was easy to spot footsteps from far away, and whenever the heavy door at the end of the corridor swung open, I try to play a game of guessing who it is. The guard walks with the clattering of armor; Estaire always walks quite briskly, at an even pace…

And then there was Hie.

Perhaps he didn’t know it himself, but I knew.

He said that he is simply busy, but I knew.

His hurried steps to reach me became slower and slower, until it began to feel quite reluctant; he takes longer to walk to the cell than walking back to the entrance of the dungeon. His touch, which used to linger, has all but completely disappeared. From when he used to kneel on the ground beside me and whisper, he has taken to staying several paces away.

He’s no longer hiding it anymore. Even if his words didn’t say it, his actions did.

I’ve stopped holding out my hand to feel just a bit of his warmth when he started not taking it. I’ve stopped pressing myself against the cold steel bars just to be a little bit more closer to him.

I wonder if he has become disgusted with how I had become. What would anyone like in a blind, useless prisoner?

Daily meetings turned to every other day, to weekly, to monthly.

These bandages that used to be changed and cleaned so frequently, now I have thrown it away lest my wounds get worse instead.

His words had lost all their warmth. It felt like he was only visiting out of a sense of obligation. Like he felt sorry for me.

And faintly, I can smell someone else off of him. A different perfume, a faint scent of cigarettes.

He had found someone else.

And I’ve outlived my purpose for him.

I did him one last kindness. I guess he was just waiting for me to say it and couldn’t do it on his own.

I let him go. Go to where he was happier.

This was the coldest winter I’ve had in my entire life.

Estaire had offered me a choice long ago. To live peacefully far away, never to show my face at the castle anymore. But I refused, because I thought that he needed me.

Two sets of footsteps sounded in the distance, along with the metal clinking of keys. One was Estaire. And the other is - -

“I’ve come for you, Hikaru.” I heard the metal grates swing open, and a pair of warm arms picked me up from the ground. A pair of strong arms that I can never forget.

The arms of the person who brought me into this world.

My voice would surely sound quite hoarse, and I was sure I looked quite miserable. But he deserved at least this much from me.

“T-Thank you, Itreis…”


	14. Starting over

It was hard for him not to be overwhelmed by all this warmth, being devoid of any form of contact for what felt like an eternity. 

The warm blanket wrapped around him by warmer arms that also held him close. 

The warm sensation on his skin that he recognized was sunlight. 

The warm presence that continued to tell him that it was going to be fine. 

He could finally hear things other than clanging metal and dripping water: the rhythmic clip-clop of the horse hooves and the faint chirping of birds, as well as the soft voice of Itreis as he hummed a tune during the entire trip. He supposed that they were in a carriage, but where exactly Itreis was taking him, he didn't know. 

Immy’s place? 

Itreis’ place? 

Or… Somewhere else? 

He stirred, becoming aware that he had fallen asleep during the journey. The cool breeze that blew and the crunching of gravel made him realize that they were no longer inside the carriage, and Itreis was walking while still carrying him in his arms. 

“Are you awake?” His voice was still soft. “It’s alright, Hikaru, we’re home.”

 

* * *

 

The water was so warm and relaxing that he couldn’t help but sigh in contentment. Itreis’ fingers lathered him up, removing Goddess-knows-what that were stuck on his skin, while Hikaru focused on steadying himself, half standing and half leaning against the cold bathroom wall. 

‘Home’ meant Itreis’ house, and right now he stood in his shower. It was a decision Itreis made for him, when asked to pick between a shower first or dinner first. 

He couldn’t remember when was the last time that he had a proper bath that this felt so  _ luxurious _ . The ends of his hair already touched his palm as it slowly untangled because of the shampoo, and it surprised him how long it had grown. As Itreis’ fingers worked, he felt them going into crevices and grooves on his body that he couldn’t even remember were there… he had grown so thin in the time that he had been locked up… 

He raised his hand, and tentatively touched his face. It took a while before he was able to find the deepest point of his cheeks, and the skin barely sprung back when he gently pressed. And then he tried to touch that place too, the spot right above his cheekbones -- 

With another metallic sound the water stopped; Itreis had turned the shower off and there was a sharply fragrant smell as a towel was draped over his head. 

“Stay here, I’ll get some of Itres’ clothes that might fit you.” 

He waited until Itreis’ footsteps had gone before he removed the towel from his head. 

For a while, he knew that the space beneath his eyelids were no longer hollow, but…  

But it was impossible. It should be impossible. Numerous times he had the conversation and he had already agreed to have new eyes implanted should he be able to leave the dungeons...

A finger gingerly touched where his eyelids would have been, and felt eyelashes. He expected that his eyes would have scarred and closed permanently but… 

Slowly… He opened his eyes. 

And was all surprised himself that it was much easier than he thought. 

It was all too bright for him, though the shower was actually a bit dim. He stared at the towel in his hands as his eyes slowly became more accustomed to the light -- it was a light blue color… he squeezed it in his hand, trying to make sure that what his eyes saw and his fingers held were one and the same, that this wasn't an illusion, or a dream -- 

With a hand on the wall he stepped out to the sink where a mirror was. 

And what he saw was a skeleton, with sallow skin stretched over the bones… 

But his face barely looked like… he expected that his face would be scarred, given his wounds from the punishment that was given to him, but aside from being so thin… 

There were no scars… 

The door opened and his head instinctively turned to see the source of the sound. 

Itreis was exactly how he remembered him. 

His hair that partially hid those shocked blue eyes was still a mess in pink. He towered in front of him, shirtless, with the heap of clothes in his hands dropping to the floor. 

“Your eyes -- how--”

In a moment Itreis was already beside him, gently tilting Hikaru’s face up to the light. Hikaru couldn’t meet his gaze. 

“Why didn’t you…?” Itreis trailed off, but Hikaru knew what probably were the words after it.

_ Why didn’t you tell anyone? _

“I… don't know.”

 

* * *

 

“Well then, let me see him.” 

It was the first time for him to see her after a long time, and he could see that she was no longer the wheelchair-bound withered woman that he met a year ago; her face seemed to be in a permanently stern expression, and her hands moved with a deliberate but gentle force as she sat on a chair across him and began examining him. 

They were at the living room; Itreis had asked the couple to come the day after he brought Hikaru home to check up on him. She was a Physician, he remembered. And with Immy being his teacher of sorts, he was also concerned with the Light Fury’s state of being after being locked up for a year… Immy and Itreis stood back and let Isviel do her thing. 

“I’m going to lift your shirt now,” she continued, as she looked at him for approval. He only managed a mute nod as she gingerly lifted the loose sweatshirt he wore -- Itres’ old clothes -- revealing the proof of his lengthy maltreatment. He thought he saw a frown on Immy’s face but his former teacher said nothing. 

“Do you feel any pain anywhere?” 

“No.” He still felt heartaches,  _ does that count _ ? But he kept the thought to himself. 

“Your eyes, were they the same as before? As if you… had sight all this time?” 

“Yes.” 

She was silent. 

“I’m sorry, but…” Being this delicate didn’t seem to fit her image. “Can you describe what they did to your eyes?” 

Itreis moved but Immy held up a hand to stop him. Hikaru turned his gaze back to Isviel, who was intently waiting for his reply. 

“They…” Hikaru took a deep breath. “Gouged it out… with something. I don’t remember what it was. I don’t remember it being removed cleanly… but I’m sure… they stabbed my right eye through my eyelids…”

He stopped, having realized something. 

He’d seen himself through a mirror, and he didn’t recall seeing any scars… 

And it seemed like Isviel noticed it too. 

“... It really looks like you grew them back, but…”

_ How? _

That was the unspoken question that hung in the air. 

_ It was simply not possible, but it did happen, so it had to be possible in some way.  _

“In any case,” she continued, as she leaned back. “I’ll be prescribing some medicine for him, Itreis, so he can regain his strength faster. There are things he can’t eat yet, but soon he’ll be able to.” 

She glanced at Immy, as if telling him she was done. 

“And… one more thing.” Immy pulled out a couple envelopes, handing one to Itreis and the other to Hikaru. “Please, do come to the wedding, its next year.”

Hikaru stared at the envelope in his hands. His name was written in beautiful cursive on the front; he was not quite used to it, but he frequently saw the same first letters quite frequently in such a manner. 

“Will… Will he be…”

He couldn’t say his name. The couple glanced at each other.

“We sent him an invitation, but he hasn’t responded yet,” Immy replied. “We’re told that there was some sort of business that he had to deal with.” 

Hikaru sighed -- in relief or sorrow, he wasn’t sure. 

“I’ll go.” 

* * *

“Itreis…. Can we talk… a bit…?”

“Hmm?”

The dim lamp helped him see Itreis’ questioning look as they lay in bed together -- a convenient arrangement, as Isviel had advised that Hikaru stay as warm as was possible, and Itreis didn't have time -- or motivation -- to deal with the guest room. Hikaru didn’t press the issue either; Itreis couldn’t hide 

Hikaru fiddled a bit with the loose sweater he wore, looking away. “Do you remember, when you first realized that I wasn’t blind anymore…?” 

“What about it…?”

“You asked... ‘why’. I didn’t have a reply back then, but I do have one now.” 

He took a steadying breath while Itreis waited in silence. 

“I was scared... I was scared to know what he looked like.” He heaved a sigh. “His actions already spoke volumes of how he truly felt… I was scared to see a disgusted or pitying expression on his face over what had become… of me.”

He put an arm around Itreis and buried his face in his chest. 

“I… broke up with him, and he just… like that. It was like he was barely affected at all…” He took a steadying breath. “It brings me… a lot of comfort that… you are still the same way as I remember you to be.” 

Itreis was quiet for a few moments, as he gently stroked Hikaru’s hair. “I’m happy to hear... that it puts you at ease.” He replied, 

“Can… Can I make… a selfish request…?”

“Ask me anything, Hikaru.” 

“Please…”

He looked up. 

“Help me forget him.” 

 


	15. Refraction and Reflection

He had been awake for a while, but he didn’t dare move lest he woke the sleeping Hikaru nestled on his arm.

It had been a busier day than usual; the days were starting to get colder and the nights were getting longer, signaling that they had to start to prepare the small house for the harsh winters of Apheleon in the coming months. When he still lived alone these chores usually dragged until the first snow, but with the extra pair of hands and Hikaru’s conscientiousness, they were finished with everything before the afternoon was done. 

What better way to recharge than to take a short nap? 

And now he was here. It was interesting how the light played on the sleeping Hikaru’s features… he had long thought that his hair was more of a silvery gray, as it looked at night, but it actually had tones of blue, especially when viewed against the white backdrop of their pillows. For a few moments he stared at them, waiting to see if his hair would turn into a different color… 

Hikaru stirred and opened his eyes. 

“Mmhn…?” 

“Good afternoon, sleepyhead.” 

In Hikaru’s disorientation he looked at those eyes and realized that they were also in that same blue-gray hue, but somehow it looked closer to purple. 

“What time is it…” 

“Not yet time for dinner… we can stay in bed for a while longer.” 

With a mute nod Hikaru nuzzled closer, putting an arm around Itreis’ waist. 

“You’re so warm…”


	16. Home

The house was small, considering the owner live alone there for years. He was on the couch, mind wandering on nothing in particular, but his eyes observing everything around him.

The bedroom in front of him, another spare on his left, next to the kitchen. A small bookshelf next to the couch, there was a few books on it, mostly gardening books and some children's books, probably Valmae's.

On his right, outside the window, there's a flowerbed that blooms a few flowers; camellias, roses and daffodils. He didn't know how Itreis managed to grow them together, but all of them looks so well taken care of.


	17. Routines

It was still dark when he stirred. Carefully untangling himself from the mess of limbs on the bed, he got up and picked up his clothes, which were tossed rather haphazardly on the floor, while basking in the sunlight of early summer that filtered through the curtains. With his mind abuzz with ideas for breakfast, he got dressed and quietly made his way to the kitchen.

It was much smaller than the kitchen that he was used to, but he was thankful for not having to reach too far just to grab a knife or something from the pantry. It was situated at a far corner of Itreis’ house, with an L-shaped counter and lined with cupboards overhead and underneath. He opened some cupboard doors, and with a brief look at what ingredients were available, he grabbed a few things -- eggs, flour, some sugar and butter -- and set to work.

These past few days, Itreis started to give him more elbow room in the kitchen after he made sure that Hikaru could finally hold a knife properly, lest he hurt himself. It wasn’t a secret that cooking was something Hikaru was very proud of, and he thought that it was the least he could do to help Itreis out in exchange for everything he had done for him… since, in Itreis’ words, it was ‘too much trouble to cook for one person’. 

Hikaru had always cooked for just one person though…

Shaking his head and sighing the sinking feeling away, he turned his full attention back to the batter he was mixing, which was still rather lumpy. He had to take care not to overmix it, lest it turned too tough and become unpleasant to eat.

“Hmm, pancakes?”

A pink-haired head nestled on the crook of Hikaru’s neck at the same time as a pair of arms wrapped around his waist. 

“Good morning,” Hikaru smiled, as he continued mixing. “And yes, pancakes.” 

“Looking forward to it,” Itreis smiled, as he gave him a peck before letting go. “I’ll go make us some tea then.”   
  
“Thank you.”

They were rather plain pancakes with jam and butter; something he quickly discovered was that Itreis wasn’t the sweet tooth type and had to adapt from his usual recipes… or what had been his usual recipes. It was also a good opportunity to learn to cook for a different audience, so he spent his time reading the cookbooks lying around and talking to Itreis about what he wanted…

When he brought out the two plates to the dining table, Itreis had already set the table and was pouring both of them tea. 

“For you,” Hikaru gently set down Itreis’ plate of three pancakes with a smile, and sat down on his spot with a plate of two pancakes. 

“Let’s eat.” 

After saying a short prayer of thanks to the Goddess for her blessings, there was only the light clinking of silver on china until Itreis spoke again. 

“Immy and Isviel’s wedding is in a few days,” he began. “We should find something for you to wear.” 

Hikaru was silent. He did promise them that he would come, but the conversation of that day repeated in his mind. 

Immy’s family was quite close to the Royal Family…

And Hie… Isviel said Hie was invited too… 

“I did promise them I would come,” he repeated the thought in his mind out loud.

“We can just skip it if you want to.” The quick suggestion Itreis offered sounded rather prepared. 

“It’s alright… I did promise them. But it is a beach wedding, no…?” He had not attended any weddings before. “What are we supposed to wear…?”

“Leave it to me. But you gotta help me pick out a gift for them, alright?”

“Alright then.”  

* * *

It was a small and intimate affair. Hikaru heard from Immy before that Isviel had disowned her own family and only held her maternal uncle in close regard, so most of the guests were their friends and mostly Immy’s family. 

Itres’ old suit didn’t exactly fit him; it was a noticeably faded, and hung a bit too loosely on Hikaru’s current frame. Itreis insisted on getting new clothes and shoes a couple days before at his expense and at Hikaru’s gratitude; it was not everyday that their friends will get married, after all. 

They arrived a bit early at the beach, and was greeted by the groom himself, decked in all white. 

“Thanks for coming, Itreis, Hikaru,” Immy said, shaking hands with both of them. Hikaru felt a slight tremble from him. “It really means a lot to me and Isviel.” 

Hikaru smiled as he patted him on the shoulder.. “You can always count on us, Immy.” 

“And you’re looking so much better than I last saw you.” 

Hikaru’s smile grew wider. “Thanks.” 

“HIKKIIIIIIIIIII!” 

“Oof -- ” 

The wind was knocked out of his lungs as a familiar teenage girl crashed into him and gripped him tightly by the waist, and would have almost fallen over, if it weren’t for Itreis catching him by the shoulders. “I knew you would come!” 

“It’s nice to see you too, Alcie,” he said, carefully patting the brunette girl’s neatly styled hair. “You look very nice.” 

“Really?” She giggled. “Thanks!” 

“Now now, Alcie,” Itreis was laughing as he continued to supported Hikaru’s shoulders. “He’s still recovering, you know.” 

With a pout, she reluctantly let go of him. 

“Don’t worry, we can play together again soon.” 

“That’s a promise, alright?” 

Alcie ushered them to their designated chairs, walking along a white carpet that was laid out for guests to not get sand in their shoes. There were several rows of white chairs with lavender bows were laid out, and at the end of the carpet aisle was an arch of white, blue, and purple flowers. The waves rolled in gently at the shore beyond, with the sun in the background casting an orange glow on the skies and the sea. Itreis held his hand as they sat down and waited for the ceremony; his warm and firm grip helped him steady himself as he grew increasingly nervous, watching the guests as they arrived. Most of these guests he knew by face or by name, but he only talked with only a few of them lately -- 

Immy, with his parents Helgen and Lynn, who continued to greet the guests as they came… 

Alcie, who was with Immy greeting them, and her twin Valmae arriving shortly after they did, hands linked with Mallory, Val’s foster mother… 

Estaire, with his wife and his daughter Eden… Eden went up to him and -- after shooting her father a glance and him nodding -- hugged him tightly. 

They all stood up when Isviel finally arrived, in a long billowy gown and a bouquet of the same flowers they put on the arch, escorted by a gray-haired man he thought was her uncle. 

It was the first time that he saw Isviel with that kind of expression; her cheeks glistened with tears, but her smile was the widest he’d seen. Even Immy had this dreamy look that Hikaru never saw him give anyone else, and when Isviel finally reached the end of the aisle where Immy waited, he wiped the tears off her cheeks. 

It felt rather bittersweet for Hikaru, knowing how Immy had been waiting in uncertainty for her for years, and here they were now, with a new beginning that they deserved. 

He wondered if he deserved the same new beginning that was given to him, too… 

The sunset was perfectly timed to the couple reciting their vows, and finally sharing their first kiss as husband and wife in front of all the witnesses. They all clapped, and soon the guests took their turns to greet the newlyweds. 

“You stay here alright?” Itreis gave his hand a squeeze before letting go. “I’ll just go catch up with some people.”

“Alright.” 

As Itreis left he scanned the small crowd again, and found no sign of the Prince. He felt both relieved and not relieved at not seeing Hie come, but… 

It was not like him to just snub such a private invitation… though Estaire had brought Hie's gift, it felt off… surely, Hie would find time to attend such an important event, even if he was the Prince… 

What was happening to him right now…? What was he doing…? 

Is he really happy…? 

“Time to go.” Itreis voice shook him from his thoughts; he blinked up at him with a small frown. 

“Didn’t the ceremony just end…?” 

“And our participation here is finished.” 

There was a slight edge to his voice, that Hikaru learned that meant that his decision was final, as he stood up. 

“Did something happen?”

“Later,” Itreis could barely hide his frown. “Let’s go.” 

With a hasty congratulations to Immy and Isviel they left, and the last thing that Hikaru saw when he looked back was Mallory’s concerned expression as she watched them walk away. 

* * *

 

When they had returned to the house, Itreis’ mood has greatly improved, from the scowling to barely even traces of it. Hikaru didn’t ask what happened as they went on to discuss what to eat and make it, spending the dinner with their usual conversations and clean up, and eventually go to bed together. 

“He wasn’t there today.” It was Hikaru who opened it up, as Itreis dimmed the night lamp before climbing into bed with him. 

“I noticed as well.” 

“It doesn’t… seem right somehow. I know him quite well--” 

The gravity of those words suddenly hit him no sooner than he said them.

“... Or maybe I didn’t, after all…” 

Itreis’ silence meant ‘ _ that’s probably it’ _ . After all, he didn’t think Hie would… replace him… like that....

“In any case… did anything happen?”

“It’s… it’s nothing. I just wasn’t feeling very well, that’s all.” 

It was too obvious that there was something more to it, but… “... Are you sure?”

Silence. Hikaru looked at the guardian’s face, looking for an answer, until Itreis gave in and sighed. 

“Mal and I had a bit of an argument.” 

Hikaru held his hand, encouraging him to go on, but he shook his head. 

“We’ll be fine. It was just the wrong thing to bring up at the wrong time, we'll eventually talk about it again sooner or later.”

“Alright then… If you say so.”

And that was the end of it. 

 

* * *

It was one of those mornings, when he would wake up before sunrise, get out of bed, and think of what to make for breakfast, slightly shivering in the morning frost of winter. This routine had grown on him for a large part of the past months, and he felt himself feeling genuinely happier as the days went by in peace. It was as if he hadn't been in prison at all a year ago, as if it was all just a bad dream… 

Letting Itreis into his heart wasn't so hard, after all… 

He had barely stepped into the kitchen, lamp in hand, when he heard a rushed knocking at the front door. 

That was… unusual. Hikaru walked to the front door and waited, to see if whoever it was would knock again, and it wasn’t just his imagination playing tricks on him. 

And there it was, that desperate knocking again. He open the door a crack to see who it was, and even in the dim light of the lamp he held he could recognize that familiar blond hair.

“Estaire…?” 

“Hikaru… I need your help.” 

Hikaru opened the door wider to let him in, and as Estaire stepped inside he saw the deep lines in the old cleric’s face and the dark circles under his eyes, which were looking at him pleadingly.

“I need your help,” he repeated. 

“What happened?”

“It’s Hie…” Estaire hesitated slightly, while Hikaru steeled himself. “He’s gone.” 


	18. The Devil

The Devil is a monster far more fearsome than the rest, because they appear to be angels.

They pretend to be to be a friendly face with honeyed words that sway your perception of everything and everyone.

That your friends are not your friends.

That you are pitiful, being stuck where I was.

That your happiness should come first, above everything.

That your happiness lies with them.

And without you even knowing it, you are alone, and completely dependent on the decisions they make, thinking that everyone has abandoned you.

And they entice you to run away with them, to where happiness is. In desolation you reach for the only light in the darkness -- their love for you.

* * *

 

And not unlike a trap do the gnarled claws start to unfurl the moment you reached out for that light. A light that was now only a mere illusion that hid a deep darkness.

It was all so fast.

The blindfold is taken off, but the chains bruising my wrists and ankles stay. And the sight that immediately greets me is that sweet smile.

The Devil is tall and blonde, and is smiling -- no, leering -- down at me. Those pearly whites began to look more like feral fangs of a rabid creature.

The Devil was everything I had wished for.

_Was._

“Finally, I have you all to myself, my Prince.”


	19. Phantom Pain

There were two rings in the box; one was his, the other was his lover's... or his ex-lover... 

He remembered asking about the other ring long ago while caressing his lover's hand, "I lose it while I was bathing" the voice echoes in his ears.

He wished he could see his lover's face when he said those words. Thinking about it make his heart sunk. 

What happened between them back then? Why did he lied to him? What if his lover living a new life, a better one, like how he always dreamed? Should he bother chasing after him again?

* * *

 

 

Feeling that the space on the bed beside him was strangely cold and empty, Itreis jolted up from bed. 

“Hikaru?” he croaked out, as he scanned the dimly-lit room -- there was no sign of his companion, not even the indoor slippers he used.

A feeling of dread came upon him and his blood ran cold. 

_ Did he leave in the middle of the night without telling him? _

With his heart thumping rapidly in his chest, he flung open the door of the bedroom, and he saw a figure sitting on the couch in the dark, barely illuminated by moonlight that filtered through the windows. 

For the first time, Itreis saw none of Itres on him. That sad, pensive face was something that was unique to Hikaru, and it was a face that he saw on him very often recently… ever since that old man Estaire started paying them visits almost everyday. 

Pleading and pleading and pleading that Hikaru come and help him… 

Itreis immediately closed the distance between them and hugged Hikaru so tightly that he was sure that Hikaru could feel how hard his heart was beating in his chest. 

“I was so worried, I thought you had gone--” 

“Calm down, Itreis,” Hikaru replied in a quiet, hushed tone, and he felt Hikaru’s arms wrap around him. “I’m sorry, I just couldn’t sleep…” 

It took awhile, but eventually he could breathe more easily and felt comfortable letting Hikaru go. 

“Why not…?” 

He instantly regretted asking as the expression on Hikaru’s face was resolute… as if he had been prepared to answer for a while now. Itreis looked away as he sat down beside him. 

“Itreis…” Hikaru slowly began, and Itreis felt his hand close over his gently. “There is something that I’ve been meaning to tell you.” 

“...What is it?” Dread crept up again, much faster than it had gone away, and it was starting to feel like his first hunch was right all along. 

“The reason why I’m here in the first place… you know it well, don’t you?” 

_ I summoned you instead of summoning my dead lover back in this world.  _ “... What about it?”

“Since… since the original reason was not fulfilled… what exactly is my purpose here?”    
  
_ I don’t… know…  _ Silence. 

“I’ve been thinking about it… a lot…” he continued in that same slow pace, like he was picking his words carefully. “All these questions about myself, and I know none of the answers… Who is ‘Hikaru’, really? Where am I from…? Did I have a family…? Friends…? A lover, perhaps? Are they… waiting for me…?” He looked down and clenched his hands. “You know… I’ve tried as hard as I could to know about this world, but none of it reminds me of anything…” 

Inwardly, Itreis felt a pang. Hikaru was struggling with these sorts of questions about his identity… and he didn’t realize it at all. 

“At least… some of the things I can find answers to… shouldn’t I reach for them?” 

“Questions… like what?” He shifted uncomfortably; he didn’t like the direction where the conversation was going… 

“Like… why did he leave? Did he truly love me? Was I just something to kill time with?” He heaved a sigh. “I will never know… unless --”

Itreis braced himself-- 

“-- I go and find him, and ask him myself.” 

\-- for the worst. 

He should have planned to leave the country sooner than later. 

“If he is really kidnapped,” Itreis thought out loud, as his mind raced to think of reasons to refuse him. “Then… they should be capable enough to find him. And then you can get your answer…” 

“But if he’s not… then I will never know.” 

“But what if he really went up and left? What if you never find him?” 

“Then… then at least, I know in myself that I tried my best to look for the answers I needed.” 

Itreis stared at him, aghast, and it took several moments before he spoke again. 

“Even after all the suffering he caused you --” He couldn’t help the jealousy from trickling into his tone. “You still--” 

“I’m sorry…” Hikaru looked at him directly, and while his voice trembled slightly, Itreis felt Hikaru’s grip on his hand tighten. “I know it sounds ridiculous but… but please, please… let me be selfish about this…” 

Itreis heaved a sigh at the helplessness that he felt at the only thing that Hikaru had asked of him all the this time he was here. There was no budging Hikaru right now, but… 

“Please… can we talk about this again in the morning?” 

He felt the grip loosen as Hikaru’s face fell slightly. “Alright… Let’s go back to sleep.”

Itreis held his hand and led him back to the bedroom, and kissed his forehead, and exchanged good nights like nothing happened. Hikaru slept like a log; it was Itreis who was unable to sleep this time, dreading the events of the morning hours later. These were the last few hours that he would have him by his side… 

That morning, his body felt heavier than it had been in a long while, as he waited for the inevitable --


	20. Another Encounter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> characters: Hikaru & Zeke

They met, when he was still trying to get used to high ceilings and cold walls, so different from the small home that he lived in. That man was slightly older than he was, and did the same responsibilities. He urged him to come to him for any sort of help, and he made his first friend in the castle.

They met, when his world was thrown in a darkness he thought was eternal. The only remaining light of his life had begun to flicker and become out of reach. 

That man asked him to let the dying light go, instead of letting that warmth merge with the bitter cold around him.

They met, when light had returned but the coldness remained. He stood out against the white blanket of snow, dressed in red; his looks simply screamed 'look at me!' 

That man he had lost his light to now held him in a vice-like grip after easily overpowering him.

"He misses you. Don't you want to see him?" 

The singsong tone was mocking. 

"Let me show you what has become of your beloved Prince."


End file.
